Tesco Finest Cumberland Sausages
by Frakme
Summary: John had been looking forward to a lovely lazy Sunday, starting with a lovely cooked breakfast. However he should remember that at 221B Baker Street, such plans never work... JohnLock smut, pwp.


**For Belen09 :)**

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><p>John woke up, threw his dressing gown over his pyjamas and wandered downstairs. It was Sunday, no work on at the clinic, he and Sherlock had wrapped up a case yesterday morning, so he was looking forward to a lazy Sunday.<p>

When he was in Tesco doing the shopping, the day before, he found some Tesco Finest Cumberland sausages in the reduced to clear section, of which he froze three and put the other three in the fridge for his breakfast. He'd bought eggs, baked beans, bread and fresh tomatoes as well, so was looking forward to a nice cooked breakfast.

Downstairs was quiet, Sherlock's door was still firmly shut. He debated seeing if the detective wanted to join him for breakfast but since he'd ate most of his lamb tikka dhansak last night, he figured that Sherlock would skip breakfast this morning. Besides, he looked forward to a nice peaceful breakfast without the detective doing his usual post-case stomping around the flat.

He mentally congratulated himself for doing the dishes the previous night which meant he found a saucepan for the beans, a frying pan for the eggs and miraculously the grill was clean.

He got the beans out of the cupboard then went in the fridge, pulled out the eggs, some milk, a tomato… but where were his sausages? Looking down the bottom of the fridge, he noticed a bag that hadn't been there when he'd unpacked the shopping. A bag that was squishy and wet looking. He gingerly picked it up and to his horror bloody liquid was dripping out of it… onto the plate that he'd placed on the same shelf. He opened the bag to find what looked suspicious like pieces of human pancreas and liver. And they had dripped all over his Tesco Finest Cumberland sausages.

Abruptly, he dropped the bag on the counter and slammed the fridge shut.

"That bloody TWAT!" he ground out. "I will kill him!" He stomped over to the door to Sherlock's bedroom and flung the door open.

"SHERLOCK! YOU-" But no further words came out as his brain short circuited at the sight of one naked consulting detective, wearing a blindfold and a pair of Sennheiser headphones, furiously wanking away.

"Oh God," he moaned involuntarily as the sausages were forgotten and all the blood in his brain went south. The sight of that pale body writhing on the bed, one of the detective's large, delicate hands pumping the long, slightly curved, rosy red cock, the other pumping three fingers in and out of his arse, was undoing him faster than a line up of naked, strawberry jam covered Spice Girls.

He was frozen on the spot, realising that he desperately needed to get out of there before Sherlock detected his presence, yet was equally desperate to get his hands on that gorgeous body.

Too late; he had been caught under the spell for too long. Sherlock's body arched as he came, come spraying upwards to cover his pale flat stomach and chest.

As soon as the detective relaxed into post orgasmic bliss, he removed the blindfold, to see John standing there, eyes wide, tongue darting out to lick his lips.

"I- I-" John stuttered, trying to recover the power of speech. "Sorry... sorry." He back pedalled out of the room in a fright, then dashed upstairs to his room, feeling utterly mortified as well as hugely turned on.

He cringed as he heard the tell tale squeak that indicated Sherlock was coming up the stairs. He stood facing the door, bracing himself for the detective's wrath.

But to his surprise, Sherlock came in, dressed solely in his blue silk dressing gown, looking like the cat that had got the cream.

"My experiment was a success, then," he said, as he looked down at John's groin, where there was an obvious bulge. "I deduced that by angering you enough to make you ignore your usual regard for my privacy would guarantee you entering my bedroom at the precise moment you did."

"You WHAT?"

"And," continuing Sherlock as if John had not spoken. "By ensuring I could not see or hear you, I gave you the opportunity to see in me in a state that you had never observed before, without me knowing. If you left immediately, I would know that you had no physical attraction towards me and if you remained to watch, I would know that you did."

"Hang on a minute…. are you telling me that you deliberately contaminated my sausages just as part of some elaborate plan to find out if I fancied you?" John looked at Sherlock, in confusion, not knowing whether he wanted to punch the bastard or fling him onto the bed and roger him senseless.

Instead, he grabbed Sherlock by the lapels of his dressing gown and kissed him hard on the lips. Sherlock immediately responded by clutching John's arse and deepening the kiss. Pulling away, John grinned up at the taller man.

"You could've just bloody asked, you git."

Sherlock merely raised a disdainful eyebrow.

"Much more fun this way. Now since you haven't punched me, I would, in fact, enjoy a good rogering." He pulled off his dressing gown and got onto the bed. John immediately undressed to join him, before getting the lube and a condom out of his bedside table. He hurriedly put the condom on, then applied the lube, while Sherlock wiggled his plush arse temptingly.

He lined himself up with said tempting, well lubed and deliciously open arse and plunged his cock in. He fucked the detective, encouraged by Sherlock moaning and thrusting back at him, taking the detective's hardening cock in his hand. John came first, shouting Sherlock's name, then carefully pulled out, his hand still being fucked by Sherlock's cock. The detective whined.

"Please, John! I need more!"

The doctor then pushed his fingers back into Sherlock's arse, easily finding the prostate, giving Sherlock the extra stimulation he needed to come again. When he had finished, they both lay back on the bed, grinning like lunatics.

"You must admit, that this was indeed a success!" said Sherlock, smugly.

"Fine… but you still owe me three Tesco Finest Cumberland Sausages!"


End file.
